Chrysler Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a Chrysler and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Chryslers do best you can.
Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Chrysler owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Chryslers?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q: How do you make a Chrysler go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What is the difference between a Chrysler and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q: Why are the latest Chryslers so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q: How do you make a Dodge run better?
A: You put a Ford motor in it.
Q: What does FIAT stand for?
A: Fix It Again, Tony!
Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Chrysler?
A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Q: What is the aim of a Chrysler project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.
Q: What is the difference between a Chrysler and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.
Q: Why are Chrysler dealers giving away a dog with each Chrysler sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q: How do you double the value of a Chrysler Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.
Q: What did the Toyota say to the Chrysler?
A: Would you like a towe home?
Q: What's the difference between a golfball and a Dodge?
A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
Q: What did the Ford say to the Dodge on the side of the road?
A: Rust-in-peace.
Q: What do you call a Chrysler at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.
Q: What do you call two Chryslers at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Why did the Chrysler cross the road?
To pick up the bits it lost yesterday.
Q: What do you call a Chrysler with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Chrysler owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you call a Chrysler with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Want to hear a car joke?
Chrysler Pacifica.
What should you do if you find three Chrysler owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.
What's the difference between a Chrysler owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Chrysler.
Chrysler Mottos
"Speed kills. Drive a Chrysler and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Chrysler's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a Chrysler if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Chrysler under me, I was always under the Chrysler."
"Friends don't let friends drive Chryslers."
Chrysler One Liners
If your Bentley is taking up 2 parking spaces, then okay. I get it. But a Chrysler 200? I feel obligated to deflate your tires now.
So you're in high school and you drive a Dodge Charger? You must know all about hard work then.
I would give both my testies for a Dodge Charger.
You wanna man that drives a Lexus, but your dad drives a Chrysler. Why you can't be humble like your mom?
Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Chrysler to the gas station?"
Chrysler Car Salesmen
Two Chrysler car salesmen were sitting at the bar.
One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more Chrysler's this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking Chrysler!"