Q. Why do ducks fly over Arlington upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: What is the difference between a person from Arlington and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Arlington?
A: The Crime Rate!
Q: What are the only two seasons in Arlington?
A: Football and Construction.
Q: Why didn't the possum cross the road?
A: Because in Arlington he's the other white meat!
Q: Why aren't people from Arlington allowed into Sea World?
A: Because fishing poles are not allowed!
Q: How does an Arlington man get a girlfriend?
A: By responding to a message on the wall of a mens room at a truck stop!
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and people from Arlington?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the difference between the Mayor of Arlington and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.
Q. What is a Arlington landlord's favorite game to play?
Q: How do people in Arlington vote?
A: Early and often!
Q: How do you casterate a person from Arlington?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three people from Arlington buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between a person from Arlington and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the boy from Arlington die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What do people from Arlington and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do people from Arlington keep their driver's license on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do kids from Arlington spend the first week of the school year?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you know you are in Arlington?
A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!
Q: Did you hear about the power outage in the Arlington library?
A: Thirty people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: What does the average student from Arlington get on his SAT?
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Arlington, Texas?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: Why do people from Arlington have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Arlington?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q: What is the definition of a Arlington virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.
Q: What do tornadoes and people from Arlington have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in Arlington, Texas?
A: With a restraining order.
Q: What's the first thing an Arlington girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Walks home.
Q: What did the Arlington girl say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in Arlington?
A: No one would look for them.
Q: What's the advantage of being married to a person from Arlington, Texas?
A: You can park in handicapped zones.
Q: How do you know that Michael Jackson is not dead?
A: He's still registered to vote in Arlington!
Q: What is the difference between Colby Lewis and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
A: Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Rangers players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.