Q. Why do ducks fly over Akron upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: What is the difference between a person from Akron and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Akron, Ohio?
A: The Crime Rate!
Q: What will happen if the people Akron, Ohio get any fatter?
A: City Council will change the cities nickname from "The Rubber City" to "The Flubber City"!
Q: How much snow and sleet fell in Akron?
A: So much that hookers are exchanging sex for Ice Melt.
Q: How do you know that Akron is getting desparate to help remove record snowfalls this winter?
A: They are willing to pay Amy Winehouse and Lindsay Lohan by the ounce to help out with snow removal
Q: What are the only two seasons in Akron?
A: Winter and Construction.
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and people from Akron?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the difference between the Mayor of Akron and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.
Q. What is a Akron landlord's favorite game to play?
Q: How do people in Akron vote?
A: Early and often!
Q: How do you casterate a person from Akron, Ohio?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three people from Akron buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between a person from Akron and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the boy from Akron die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What do people from Akron and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do people from Akron keep their driver's license on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do kids from Akron, Ohio spend the first week of the school year?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you know you are in Akron?
A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!
Q: Did you hear about the power outage in the Akron library?
A: Thirty people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: What does the average student from Akron get on his SAT?
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Akron?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: Why do people from Akron have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Akron?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q: What is the definition of a Akron virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.
Q: What do tornadoes and people from Akron have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q: How do they separate the men from the boys in Akron, Ohio?
A: With a restraining order.
Q: What's the first thing an Akron girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Walks home.
Q: What did the Akron girl say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in Akron, Ohio?
A: No one would look for them.
Q: What's the advantage of being married to a person from Akron, Ohio?
A: You can park in handicapped zones.
Q: How do you know that Michael Jackson is not dead?
A: He's still registered to vote in Akron!
Q: How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone?
A: It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
Q: After extracting a benign growth along his right jaw line what procedure is Lebron James looking to perform?
A: Extracting himself from the Cleveland Cavaliers!