Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
What do you call a doctor that fixes websites?
Where does an injured sandwich go?
The 'Mayo' Clinic
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
Nurse: No change yet.
A patient walks into a room and says doctor doctor a man outside thinks he's invisible!
Doctor: Well tell him i cant see him right now.
What 's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A nun only serves one God.
What do you call a duck in a clinic?
World Health Day is celebrated every April 7th and is sponsored by many organisations including the WHO (World Health Organization).
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible" says the doctor, "show me".
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you? You're really a blonde".
She says "Yes, doctor".
"I thought so." he says " Your finger is broken".
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist.
As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch.
The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."
The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we."
One doctor says to another doctor; I think that I will have to fire nurse Smith. So the other doctor ask him how come? "Because she keeps getting things backwards. The other day I told her to give Mr. Jones in room 301 one pill every four hours. She ended up giving him 4 pills every hour. I then told her to change the bandage on his head. She ended up making his bed." All of a sudden they heard this horrible scream coming from Mr. Jones's room. So the doctor says, "Oh No" I will definitely have to fire nurse Smith now; I told her to go in and prick Mr. Jones boil."
If they approach, don't say anything.
If you see that is big, don't be scared.
If they place it in you, just breathe and relax.
If it hurts, hold up.
Because a vaccine can save your life.