Titanic Rememberance Day Jokes

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

Want to break the ice with your co-workers?
Tell them a Titanic joke.

What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
They know how many men went down on The Titanic.

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?

What do you get when you cross the Titanic with the Atlantic Ocean?
About halfway.

Whats the difference between Donald Trump and the Titanic?
No matter how bad things get, nobody can sink Donald Trump's ship!

What is the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 300 women went down on the Titanic.

What do the movies Titanic and Sixth Sense have in common?
You only watch them to see dead people.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice!

I heard Titanic is now available in 3D, maybe they'll see the iceberg this time.

I call my iPod the Titanic because it's syncing now.

Titanic Rememberance Day is on April 15, the day the Titanic sank.

Yo mama was offered a role in the Titanic movie as the iceberg.

Girl: Our relationship is like the Titanic.
Boy: What does that mean?
Girl: I'm breaking up with you.

Rose Calvert: I nominate Jack Dawson for the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Abandon Ship
As Regan, Nixon and Clinton were on the Titanic, the order to abandon ship was given as the ship had struck as iceburg.
Regan gallantly shouted:"Women and children first!"
To which Nixon said out loud:"Screw the women!!!"
Bill shouted to Nixon in the midst of the chaos: "We don't have the time!"

An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don't like Chinese."

The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"

The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."

The F.O. says, "Nooooo, noooo... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."

And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence.

Finally the F.O. says, "No like Jew." The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"

F.O. says, "Jews sink Titanic."

The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."

The F.O. replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."

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