Paper Bag Day Jokes

Can I tell you a joke about paper bags?
Nah, never mind, its tearable.

What do you call a man with a bag on his head?

Why do paper bags never win poker tournaments?
Because they always fold.

Why does the dog bring paper bag to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.

What do snakes use to cut paper bags?

Paper Bag Day is celebrated annually on July 12th.

The manufacturing process for paper bags takes more energy than that of plastic bags.

What is a bags favorite game?
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Feeling Sick
A little paper bag was feeling sick, so he took himself off to the doctors.

"Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag.

"Hmmmmmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows,

Come back and see me in a couple of days."

The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results.

‘What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag.

"I'm afraid you are HIV positive!" said the doctor.

"No, I can't be - I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper bag.

"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.

"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!"

"Well have you been sharing needles with other Intravenous drug users?" asked the doctor.

"NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!"

"Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a Jab or a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.

"NO, I don"t have a passport - I'm just a little paper bag!"

"Well", said the doctor, "Are you in a high risk relationship?"

"NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just a little paper bag!"

"Then there can be only one explanation." said the doctor

New Job
A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, "If you marry my daughter,
I'll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a
million dollar annual salary." The guy says, "What's wrong with her?"
The boss shows him a picture, and she's hideous. The boss says, "It's
only fair to tell you, she's not only ugly, she's as dumb as a wall."
The guy says, "I don't care what you offer me, it ain't worth it." The
boss says, "I'll give you a five million dollar salary and build you a
mansion on Long Island." The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over
her head when they have sex. About a year later, the guy buys an
original Van Gogh and he's about to hang it on the wall. He climbs a
ladder and yells to his wife, "Bring me a hammer." She mumbles, "Get the
hammer. Get the hammer," and she fetches the hammer. The guy says, "Get
me some nails." She mumbles, "Get the nails. Get the nails," and she
gets him some nails. The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he
hits his thumb, and he yells, "Fuck!" She mumbles, "Get the bag. Get the

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