National Umbrella Day Jokes

Why does Snoop dog need an umbrella?
Fo' Drizzle.

What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella.

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
The drizzle my nizzle.

What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!

Broccoli: I look like a tree.
Walnut: I look like a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
Banana: Dude! Change the topic.

Doctor's Office
A happy 85 year old man walked into the doctor's office. He was all smiles and laughed with the nurses and staff, until they brought him into the doctor's.

The doctor examined him and told him he should start eating better, because his health was not that great.

The old man is surprised, he said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 85 year old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor smiled, "My point exactly."

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