What kind of pasta do reptiles eat?
Turtle-lini.
Did you hear about the Tortellini chef that died?
He pasta way.
What do Italians eat on halloween?
Tortellini A-fraid-o.
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating tortellini?
PASTA LA VISTA BABY.
What do you call a fake tortellini?
An impasta.
My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn't make a car out of tortellini, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
Doctors Office
The Situation from Jersey Shore walks into the doctor's office.
A Penne stuck in one of his ears, a Spaghetti in the other ear, and a tortellini stuck in one nostril.
Michael Sorrentino says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."