National Tequila Day Jokes

How do you get a computer drunk?
A Screenshot of Tequila.

Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?
3 shots of Patron.

Why did Mexicans create tequila?
So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!

What does a shot of 1800 Tequila and a Woman have in common?
Both of them make men start talking nonsense!

What does tequila prove?
That happiness is the moment inbetween lemon and salt.

What do you call a man with a shot of tequila on his head?
A taxi. Clearly, he's had too much liquor and is being a nuisance.

Is it alright to drink a bottle of tequila?
Only if you want it to-kill-ya.

When life hands you lemons, find someone with tequila and salt!

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!

Tequila is never the answer... But it does make you forget the question.

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary, but I looked it up on whiskeypedia.
And learned if you drink too much, it's likely tequil-ya.

I'm in a commited relationship with Jose Cuervo.

Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
Girl: "Is that you or the tequila talking?"
Boy: "It's me talking to the tequila."

A guy offers a girl a shot of tequila, but the girl says tequila is bad for her legs,
The guy ask "Do they swell?"
The girl replies "No they spread"

Mayan: Hey wanna a shot of tequlla?
Other Mayan: I'm working on this calendar, but I guess if I don't finish it won't be the end of the world.

Tequila doesn't turn people into somebody they're not.
It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.

A Shot of Tequila
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila then looks into his pocket.

He does this over and over again.

Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of tequila and afterwards look into his pocket.

The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived, while the one in whiskey curled up and died.
"All right, son." asked the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."

Bar Jokes
Alcohol Jokes
Beer Jokes

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