National Teddy Bear Day Jokes

How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, GO!

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?
I'm stuffed.

What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar!

How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts!

I invited a teddy bear round for dinner yesterday. I offered him some food but he said no thanks I'm stuffed.

Teddy Bears
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her
apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling,
"Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."

Bear Jokes

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