What do you call taking a selfie with a rattlesnake?
A missssss-take.
A blonde and a brunette jump off a skyscraper. Which would land first?
The brunette. The blonde would stop to take a selfie.
What kind of photos does a turtle take?
Shellfies.
What do you call a photo taken by a cat?
A paw-trait.
Why was the selfie arrested?
Because it was framed.
What kind of pictures do prisoners take?
Cell-fies.
What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East?
A selfie!
Two girls: "A tray of sushi, please."
Waiter: "To eat or to post photos of on Instagram?
National Selfie day is observed annually on June 21st.
Yo mama so fat she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed.
Yo mamma so skinny she can't go sideways when taking a selfie.
Yo momma so ugly, when she uploaded her selfie, all the social networking sites reported denial of service attacks.