You know what's fun about being sober?
A bee goes into a bar,
It comes out 2 hours later buzzing
What happens when ghosts drinks too much Johnnie Walker?
They get sheet-faced.
Scotch don't turn people into somebody they're not.
It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.
National Scotch Day is observed annually on July 27th.
What doesn't kill me, makes my drinks stronger
A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another Scotch.
Johnnie Walker is my worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy...
Money can't buy happiness. Just kidding yes it can, if that money is used to buy Scotch.
A guy offers a girl a drink, but the girl says Scotch is bad for her legs,
The guy ask "Do they swell?"
The girl replies "No they spread"
Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
Girl: "Is that you or the Scotch talking?"
Boy: "It's me talking to the Scotch."
Over and Over
A man walks into a bar and orders a Scotch then looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again.
Finally, the bartender asks why he orders another Scotch and afterwards look into his pocket.
The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."
Two girls were comparing boyfriends.
"Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!"
"Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Johnnie Walker because he's the best hard licker there is!"