What is a hipsters idea of a balanced diet?
A bourbon apple sangria in each hand!
When do women drink sangria?
Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?
How can you find the guy who drank one too many sangrias?
He's the one dancing like an asshole!
What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching the Champions League?
The sofa doesn't keep asking for another Sangria!
What do you call a man with a glass of sangria on his head?
A taxi. Clearly, he's had too much wine and is being a nuisance.
Why did Spaniards invent sangria?
So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
What is the difference between a glass of sangria and a man?
A glass of sangria hits the spot everytime.
Sangria doesn't turn people into somebody they're not.
It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.
How can you find the girl who drank one too many sangrias?
She's the one dancing like a stripper!
A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another sangria.
A guy offers a girl a glass of sangria, but the girl says wine is bad for her legs,
The guy ask "Do they swell?"
The girl replies "No they spread"
A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your drink."
The man replies, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."