National Rum Day Jokes

How do you get a computer drunk?
A Screenshot of Captain Morgan.

Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?
3 shots of Bacardi.

Why did Caribbean islanders create rum?
So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!

What does a shot of Bacardi 151 and a Woman have in common?
Both of them make men start talking nonsense!

What do you call a man with a shot of rum on his head?
A taxi. Clearly, he's had too much liquor and is being a nuisance.

Rum is never the answer... But it does make you forget the question.

I'm in a commited relationship with Captain Morgan.

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary, but I looked it up on whiskeypedia.
And learned if you drink too much, it's likely tequil-ya.

Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
Girl: "Is that you or the rum talking?"
Boy: "It's me talking to the rum."

A guy offers a girl a shot of bacardi, but the girl says bacardi is bad for her legs,
The guy ask "Do they swell?"
The girl replies "No they spread"

Captain Morgan doesn't turn people into somebody they're not.
It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.

A Shot of Bacardi
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of bacardi then looks into his pocket.

He does this over and over again.

Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of bacardi and afterwards look into his pocket.

The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."

Bar Jokes
Alcohol Jokes
Beer Jokes

Joke Generators: