Why did the pastry chef get arrested?
For baking and entering.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?
When should you take a pastry to the doctor?
When it feels crummy.
What's the best thing to put into a pastry?
Why did the pastry cross the road?
She was meat an potato.
What does a pastry put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?
What do pastry chefs like to watch on HBO?
Game of Scones: All men must dine.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love danishes and liars.
Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its a pastry.
A study says that eating pastries may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke...
National Pastry day is observed annually on December 9th.
God Is Watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of danishes.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 pastries and I asked for one, how many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4."
A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a pastry and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" mi tief three pastries.
"nobody cya tief like me!", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief".
They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" the cashier said " sure" "hand me a pastry" he ate it. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it.
"Mon, where's the magic?" said the cashier.
The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem"
There once was a girl who kept being followed by bread and pastry chefs wearing cooks hats.
She asked her girlfriend if she could tell her why the breadmakers were following her.
Her girlfriend told her you really need to do something about that yeast infection.