National Margarita Day Jokes
What is a woman's idea of a balanced diet?
A margarita in each hand!
You know what's fun about being sober?
Nothing.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 70?
Four girls drinking margaritas and watching Real Housewives!
How can you find the girl who finished all the margaritas?
She's the one dancing like an asshole!
What is the difference between a margarita and a man?
A margarita hits the spot everytime.
What's the cure for marriage?
Answer: Alcoholism.
Where are the best margaritas served?
In the Gulp of Mexico!
What do you call a woman with a margarita on her head?
A taxi. Clearly, she's had too much liquor and is being a nuisance.
A bee goes into a margarita bar, It comes out 2 hours later buzzing.
What doesn't kill me, makes my margaritas stronger.
Money can't buy happiness. Just kidding yes it can, if that money is used to buy margaritas.
A guy offers a girl a margarita, but the girl says alcohol is bad for her legs,
The guy ask "Do they swell?"
The girl replies "No they spread"
Girl: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
Boy: "Is that you or the margarita talking?"
Girl: "It's me talking to the margarita."
Drunk Driving
It seems a lady had too many margaritas at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper.
Upon being tested, the lady couldn't walk a straight line any more than she could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated woman, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to her, drove home and went to bed.
She was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers. "Are you Mrs. Johnson?" they asked?
She admitted that she was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?"
Again, the woman admitted that was she. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked."
The woman replied that she drove her car home and went to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired.
The lady answered that it was in the garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers.
The woman answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
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