National Handshake Day Jokes

Did you hear about the cage fighters secret handshake?
You Slap, bump and roll.

That awkward moment you go in for a handshake and they go in for a hug.

If you have a weak handshake, I will automatically think less of you.

Chuck Norris killed a man with a firm handshake.

Secret handshakes at work also secretly spread the cold.

A co-worker ignored my handshake in public today, he's officially dead to me.

That awkward moment when someone shakes your hand then tells you they're sick.

What do you call two frat brothers during halloween?
Things that go fist bump in the night.

National Handshake Day is celebrated annually on the last thursday in June.

Nursing Home
At the nursing home, Dolores and Gabe struck up a romantic relationship. Since both of them were in their eighties, their physical contact was rather limited.

However, every evening as they sat together on the sofa, Dolores would unzip Gabe's fly, pull out his penis and hold it in her hand for twenty minutes. This satisfied the two of them adequately.

One day, Gabe told Dolores it was all over. He told her he was leaving her for Maggie, one of the other old dears at the nursing home. Naturally, Dolores was a little miffed.

"Heavens! What's she got that I haven't got?" she asks.

"Parkinson's," said Gabe.

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