What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your toffee out and the train says "chew chew chew".
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on a piece of toffee?
He got stuck in Orbit.
What do you call a train that eats toffee?
A chew, chew train.
What did the toffee say to the shoe?
I'm stuck on you!
Why did the toffee cross the road?
Because it was stuck to chickens bum.
What channel is Mike Tyson's next boxing match going to be on?
Pay Per Chew!
This American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.
A French guy chewing toffee sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."
The American Guy ignores him.
"What have you got on that bread? Jam? In France we eat only the freshest fruit & put the seeds & pits into containers & send it to America to make your jam."
"Well let me ask you one question. Do you have sex over there in France?"
"Oh Oiu, Oiu, you know we do."
"What do you do with the used condoms?"
"Oh flush them down the toilet of course."
"Well here in America we put them into containers & sell them to France as toffee."