National Scotch Day Jokes

A bee goes into a bar,
It comes out 2 hours later buzzing

What does Mead call his girlfriend?

When do people drink Mead?
Wine O'Clock.

What happens when ghosts drinks too much mead?
They get sheet-faced.

You know what's fun about being sober?

How can you find the girl who drank an entire bottle of Mead?
She's the one dancing like a stripper!

Mead doesn't turn people into somebody they're not.
It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.

What do you call a woman with a glass of Mead on her head?
A taxi. Clearly, she's had too much liquor and is being a nuisance.

Can you drink Mead for breakfast?
Wine not?

What is the difference between a glass of Mead and a man?
A glass of wine hits the spot everytime.

Mead Day is observed annually on the first Saturday in August.

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have some more Mead.

Mead is my worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy...

I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a glass of Mead, but I already have one.

Money can't buy happiness. Just kidding yes it can, if that money is used to buy Mead.

I drink Mead because I don't like to keep things bottled up.

A guy offers a girl a drink, but the girl says Mead is bad for her legs,
The guy ask "Do they swell?"
The girl replies "No they spread"

Over and Over
A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of mead then looks into his pocket.

He does this over and over again.

Finally, the bartender asks why he orders another pint of Mead and afterwards look into his pocket.

The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."

Joke Generators: