Christmas Gift Jokes


Something Fast
A woman, shortly before Christmas, told her husband that she would like something able to go from 0 to 100 in more or less 4 seconds ...
It goes without saying that she wanted a new car.
The husband was a bit of a cheapskate.
So for Christmas, the woman recieved a scale!

Recess
Two young girls are talking during a school recess.
One asks the other "What did you ask for Christmas?"
She replies "A Tampax."
"What is that?" the other girl asks.
"I do not know, but with you can go horseback riding, to the gym, ride a bike...

Nintendo Switch
Kneeling in front of the fireplace, a boy exclaimed:
"Dear Santa, I WANT A NINTENDO SWITCH!"
After a slight silence:
"Dear Santa, I WANT A NINTENDO SWITCH!"
And again:
"Dear Santa, I WANT A NINTENDO SWITCH!"
At this moment, his father intervened: "It's not worth shouting like this: Santa Claus is not deaf!"
And the kid replied: "Santa is perhaps not deaf ... but grandmother is!"

Husband/Wife
Husband: "What do you want for Christmas?"
Wife: "A divorce!"
Husband: "Can you think of anything cheaper?"

Pony
Daughter: Mommy, I want a beautiful pony with a bow for Christmas.
Mother: OK then on Christmas Eve we will go to the hairdresser.

Train Set
Mason says to his mother: You can delete the train set from my Christmas wish list.
Mother: Why is that?
Mason: Yesterday, I found one in the closet.

Presents
Father: My son, who brings the presents for Christmas?
Son: Amazon!
Father: No, I mean the fat man with the beard.
Son: Edward, the postman?

Two brothers
Two brothers are talking about what they recieved for Christmas.
"Haha, I got twice as many presents as you, I know who Mum and Dad love most!" says the younger brother.
To which the older brother replied "And I know who has cancer ..."

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