The Night Before Christmas Hood Rap Joke

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus
An' all ober de hood
ereybody wuz sleepin'
Dey wuz sleepin' good.

All o' de fambily
Wuz layin' in de beds
While Ripple and Thunderbird
Dance tru dey heads.

I passed out in de flo
Right next to my maw
When I heard sech a fuss, I thunk
"It must be de law!"

I looked out thru de bars
What covered my doe
Spectin' de sheriff
Wif a warrant fo sho!

And what did I see?
I said, "Lawd, look atdat!"
Ther' wuz a huge wabber-melon
Pulled by giant warf rats!

Now ober all de years
Sanna Claus, he be white
But, looks like us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis night.

Faster dan a po'lees car;
My home boy, he came.
He whupped on dem warf rats
And called dem by name!

On Leroy, on 'lonzo,
And on Willie Lee,
On Saphire, on Chenequa;
Dey wuz a site to see!

As he landed dat watta-melon
Out der in de skreet
I knowed fo sho
Da damndest site I ebber did see!

He didn't go down no chimbley;
He picked da lock on my doe!
And I sez to myself,
"Shit, he done dis befoe!"

He had dis big bag
Full of prezents i spect
Wid Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun my neck.

But he left no good prezents;
just started stealin' my shit.
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!

Wit my stuff in de bag
Out da window he flewed
I woulda tried to catch him
But he stole my knife too!

He jumped on dat wabber-melon
An'whipped out a switch
He wuz gone in a secon',
dat sonuvabitch!

Next year I be hopin'
Anutha Sanna we git
Cuz diz here Sanna Claus
Just ain't werf a shit!

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