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"President Bush is working very hard on the Mideast problem. According to a White House aide, President Bush's speech this week on the Middle East conflict went through seventeen different drafts. Which is actually good because the first draft started out 'Dear Bad Guys.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Secretary of State Colin Powell turned down an offer from former president Jimmy Carter to get involved in the Mideast peace process. However, he did ask Carter to build a shed in his back yard." —Conan O'Brien

 

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