Viagra Jokes
Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino?
One cup and you're up all night.
Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra?
Niagara Falls.
Q: What are the two main ingredients in Viagra?
A: Miracle Gro & Fix-a-flat!
What happens when you take Viagra and Propecia (or use Rogain) at the same time?
Just ask Don King.
Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra
It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops?
Apparently they make you look hard.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?
You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Why has Viagra been a big boon to comedians?
Because it helps them stand up
How did the first man die from using Viagra?
The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Whats the generic form of Viagra?
Mycoxaflopin.
A man goes into the chemist and asks for some viagra.
'Have you got a prescription,' the chemist asks him.
'No, but will a picture of my wife do?' the man says.
Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
Because he overdosed on viagra.
Why shouldn't single men use Viagra?
"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to."
What happens when you get the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Why are guys using the Viagra-brand Chapstik?
Because its the best way to keep a "stiff upper lip!"
How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb?
One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.
My grandfather sat the family down and told us he was addicted to viagra?
No one took it harder than grandma.
Why shouldn't you mix prune juice and viagra.
You won't know if your coming or going.
Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra?
A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
Why is Viagra now being compared to Disneyland?
They're both one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Did you hear what happened to the guy who choked on Viagra?
He got a stiff neck!
What happens to criminals who sell fake Viagra?
They face stiff penalties!
Why do nursing homes give their male patients Viagra?
To keep them from rolling out of bed.
Did you hear about the criminal who repeatedly would break into pharmacies and steal Viagra?
He was a hardened criminal.
What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second?
The first: Niagara; the second: Viagra.
How did the American's finally find Osama Bin Laden?
The Americans heard he was hiding in a field. So they sprayed it with VIAGRA and the prick stood up!
Q: Have you heard the one about the lesbian that took Viagra?
A: She couldn't get her tongue back in her mouth for a month.
If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use?
A growth chart?
How can you find guys who steal hundreds of bottles of Viagra?
Because they tend to be hardened criminals!
Diarrhea
Six year old boy stuck on the toilet with Diarrhea.
He starts yelling for his mom to please bring him some Viagra.
Mom asks her son why he thinks he needs Viagra.
The boy says, "Well thats what you give dad when his shit don't get hard."
Cooking In The Kitchen
One day a mother was cooking in the kitchen when her 10 year old son came in and said hey mom I have the runs is there anything that I can take to make it stop.
The mother says no I don't have anything that I can think of that would help.
Then the boy said "What about Viagra?"
The mother said "What made you say viagra the boy said I overheard you talking with dad and you said here take this viagra to keep your s**t hard."
Parrot
A parrot swallowed a Viagra tablet left within reach by the owner.
The man worried about it's effect, puts the parrot in the freezer to calm it.
An hour later the man opens the door and sees the parrot all sweaty and asks: "Hey, how can you be all sweaty in the freezer?"
And the parrot replies, "Do you think it's easy to spread the legs to a frozen chicken?"