Knickers Jokes

Why do lady golfers wear two pairs of knickers?
In case she gets a hole in one.

Why don't racehorses wear knickers?
Because it rides up on them!

How do you get a chavette to wear knickers?
Put an ADIDAS logo on it.

Why doesn't Hermoine wear knickers when riding her broomstick?
So she can get a better grip!

What do you call a stripper with her hand down her knickers?
Self Employed!

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
They pull up their knickers.

What kind of knickers do old people wear?

Why do blondes wear knickers?
To keep their ankles warm.

Why do women wear knickers?
Because workplace health and safety states 'all manholes must be covered when not in use'!

Yo mum so fat the Royal Marines stole her knickers to use as parachutes.

Did you get those knickers on sale? (Why?) Because at my flat they would be 100% off!

One day there was 3 girls one supported Leeds United and wore blue knickers,
the second one wore supported Manchester United and wore red knickers,
the other one wore no knickers and she supported Arsenal.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Nicholas who?
Knicker less girls shouldn't climb trees.

Shiny Shoes
A man goes to a pub. He goes to the dance floor with three ladies.
He says to them if I can guess the color of your knickers you have to dance with me.
His shoe is shiny so he stuck his foot under the 2 of 3 girls and guessed the color of underwears correctly.
When he stuck his foot under the third girl he asked her if she was wearing any knickers.
She replied "No."
He said "Good because I thought I had a crack in my shoe."

Glove and Knickers
A young man wished to purchase a present for his sweetheart and after careful consideration, he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of knickers for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the knickers. Without checking the contents, he sealed the package and sent it to her with this note.

Dearest Darling,
This is a little gift to show my affection for you on our Anniversary. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked great. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other men's hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night.

All my love,

P.S. Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing.

A girl came to her mom and said "Mommy! I've got 5 dollers"
Her mom said "Where from?"
"Tommy from down the road he dared me to do a cartwheel" she replied
"Dear that boy is just trying to see your knickers!"
"oohh" the girl says
The next day the girl comes to her mom and says "Mommy I've got 10 dollers!"
"I told you dont trust that boy!"
"NO mommy I tricked him I didn't where knickers today

Two women walking home pissed had to do a pee so they ducked into a graveyard.
They had no toilet paper so one woman used her knickers and threw them away.
The other used a ribbon from a wreath.
The next day their husbands were talking.
We'd better keep an eye on our wives, one said, mine came home without her knickers.
You think that's bad, said the other, mine had a card up her arse saying "From all the lads at the Fire and Rescue Service, we'll never forget you"

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