Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of
you, so he goes for the next best thing your sister. Far from being an
issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins
involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your
relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him
a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a
spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and
gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer
to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless.
Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you.
Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present,
and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior - and it should be encouraged.
The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men.
Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair,
and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how
emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home.
Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a
nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may
wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at flea markets.
To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present,
and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do
not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you
in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by
buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant,
man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again
to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and
don't forget to cook him a delicious meal.
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it
comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not
confused emotionally as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to
rememberis that you just do whatever he tells you without question.
Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem
strange to you. Do them anyway.
Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: There is no average time, but anything over two minutes is good.
Anything under that and you may be rushing your man. After your man
has finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you
suddenly, and go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another
activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of
consuming large amounts of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts
with his buddies. Don't feel left out-while he's gone you can busy yourself by
doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment, or perhaps even going out
to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready.
Q: What is "afterplay?"
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his
manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you
to do after the lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making
him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers or leaving him alone to
sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.
Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is
important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect
male penis measures about 3 inches. Anything longer than that is extremely
rare and, if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over,
you should go down on your knees and thank you lucky stars and do
everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his
apartment and buying him an expensive gift.