Q: What did the heroin addict get on his IQ test?
A: Drool!
Q: What do women addicted to heroin got in common with ice-hockey players?
A: They both change clothes after three periods.
Q: How can you pick out the heroin addict in the grocery store?
A: He is the one with his cart flipped upside down fixing the wheels!
Q: What's the difference between a crackhead and a tweaker?
A: The crackhead will steal your shit and bounce, the tweaker will steal your shit and then help you look for it.
Q: There were nine fleas on a fanny. Four of them were smoking dope what were the other five doing?
A: Sniffing Crack.
Q: How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!
Q: What can tourists do on a $65 tour of gang turf in Los Angeles?
A: Purchase a postcard, t-shirt, and some heroin!
Q: Who makes more money a heroin dealer or a prostitute?
A: A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack, and sell it again!
Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A1: Sonny, the Cuckoo bird for Cocoa Puffs was arrested for carrying a kg of heroin!
A2: The Trix rabbit was found dead after an apparent ecstasy overdose!
A3: They use Tony the Tiger to promote an adult cocaine infused version of "Frosted Flakes"
A4: They change the slogan for Rice Krispies to "Snack on crack and pot...Rice Krispies!"
Q: What film is getting its lead actress Lindsay Lohan a lot of Oscar buzz?
A: Coke Whore!
Q: Why did Ann Coulter have to be rushed to the emergency room after doing heroin?
A: Apparently she walked naked past a mirror and saw her penis!
Q: Amy Winehouse's health is at risk due to her crack problem.
A: Her doctors say that if she doesn't wash it soon, she'll get gangrene.
Q: What happened after the Mexican government eliminated jail time for drug possession?
A: For the first time in history Mexico is worried about illegal immigration from the US!
Q: Why isn't heroin a discriminatory drug?
A: Heroin doesn't care about your looks, as long as you have good veins!
Q: What did the Heroin rock say to the vibrator?
A: What are you worried about I'm the one going to be abused!
Q: Why is heroin better than women?
A1: Heroin doesn't mind being abused.
A2: The heroin itself doesn't pose a risk of HIV infection.
A3: When travelling with heroin, you don't have to pay its ticket.
A4: High grade heroin is, after all, much cheaper than high grade women.
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