Q: What do you get when you take ecstasy and birth control pills?
A: A trip without the kids.
Q: What can tourists do on a $65 tour of gang turf in Los Angeles?
A: Purchase a postcard, t-shirt, and some ecstasy!
Q: Why did Ann Coulter have to be rushed to the emergency room after taking ecstasy?
A: Apparently she ran naked past a mirror and saw her penis!
Q: What happened after the Mexican government eliminated jail time for drug possession?
A: For the first time in history Mexico is worried about illegal immigration from the US!
Q: What do you call someone who stays up for 14 days straight?
A: A two-weeker.
Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A1: Sonny, the Cuckoo bird for Cocoa Puffs was arrested for carrying a kg of heroin!
A2: The Trix rabbit was found dead after an apparent ecstasy overdose!
A3: They use Tony the Tiger to promote an adult cocaine infused version of "Frosted Flakes"
A4: They change the slogan for Rice Krispies to "Snack on crack and pot...Rice Krispies!"
Q. What did one metrosexual say to the other metrosexual when he ran out of ecstasy?
A. "Hey man, this music sucks!"
It's not peer pressure, it's just your turn.
A rabbit running through the forest stumbles upon a deer rolling a joint. The rabbit says, "Don't do that. Come running with me. It's much more fun!" The deer takes off with the rabbit.
They come across an elephant doing coke. "Come running with us, elephant," says the rabbit. "You'll feel so good!" The elephant decides to join in the fun. The animals encounter a lion about to shoot up. Before the rabbit can say anything, the lion knocks it unconscious.
The deer screams, "Lion, what are you doing? He's trying to help us!" The lion answers, "The fucker makes me run around the forest like an idiot every time he takes Ecstasy!"
O and o
Two guys were picked up by the cops for selling ecstasy and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursued them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,
"How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this:
O o and told
them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle)is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"
"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them,
"This is your asshole before prison...."