A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married five times?"
"Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband 2 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband 3 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband 4 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband 5 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"