Whitney Houston Jokes


Q: Why did Whitney Houston snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.

Q: What's worth more than a black market kidney or liver?
A: Whitney Houston's nose hairs!

Q: What do you need to perform an autopsy on Whitney Houston?
A: A Periodic Table!

Q: Whats the difference between Whitney Houston and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

Q: What's the difference between February and Whitney Houston?
A: February makes it to 28!

Q: What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson?
A: Nothing, now.

Q: What is Whitney Houston's last wish?
A: For all her loved ones to please form a line!

Q: What's more toxic to babies than Chinese milk?
A: Whitney Houston breastfeeding your kids!

Q: Why was Whitney Houston's cremated?
A: Police have estimated Whitney Houston's ashes have a street value of $500,000!

Q: How do you know your playing a tennis match with Whitney Houston?
A: Your opponent tries to snort the service line!

Q: Whitney Houston's health is at risk due to her crack problem.
A: Her doctors say that if she doesn't wash it soon, she'll get gangrene.

Q: Why was Whitney Houston being treated for an adverse reaction to medication?
A: Doctor said she had overdosed on fresh air. 

Q: Whitney Houston just received the starring role in what movie?
A: Fraggle Rock: The Movie

Q: What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Whitney Houston jokes?
A: The jokes will get old.

Q: What's the difference between me and Whitney Houston?
A: Amy has more money, but I woke up on Saturday!

Q: How do men pick up Whitney Houston?
A: With a stretcher!

Q: What did Whitney Houston say right before she died?
A: "How about a magic trick? I'm gonna make this line of coke...disappear!"

Q: What have Whitney Houston and a fly got in common?
A: They're both six feet.

In world news today Switzerland just medicalised heroin!
In other news, Whitney Houston is moving to Switzerland!
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Q: Why is Whitney Houston having fainting spells?
A: Her crack levels are getting low!

Q: What song did Elton John perform at Whitney Houstons funeral?
A: Candle Under The Spoon!

McDonalds have released the Whitney Houston McValue Meal
It's Just Coke and Ice

Q: How did Whitney Houston confuse forensic experts?
A: When they drew a line around her body and Amy sprung up and tried to snort it!

Q: What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Jimi Hendrix?
A: Whitney Houston had more hits before she died!

Q: What does Whitney Houston and Big Brother beauty Imogen Thomas have in Common?
A: Neither of them will be doing Giggs any time soon!

Q: Were did Whitney Houston pick up her cocaine habit?
A: After being told to do a 100 lines at school!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common?
A: They both have a 10 year old crack addiction!

A government group stated that most European paper money is Laced With Cocaine
In related news, Whitney Houston was seen today entering a bank with a gun and a wheelbarrow.

Q: Which movie starring Whitney Houston is getting Oscar buzz?
A: "Coke Whore"

Q: What do wrestling fans and Whitney Houston have in common?
A: The both love the Rock!

Q: What is Whitney Houston's favorite song?
A: I wanna rock!

Q: What was Whitney Houston's biggest hit?
A: Her last one!



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