Q: Why have there been less suicide bombings since Susan Boyle's rise to fame?
A: Because terrorists didn't know what a virgin looked like!
Q: Why didn't Susan Boyle recieve a 2010 Brit Award nomination for Best New Female Artist?
Q: Voters don't think she is trendy, stylish, or a woman!
Q: What's got black curly hair and lips that have never been kissed?
A: Susan Boyle's minge. (hair around the vagina)
Q: How "special" is Susan Boyle?
A1: So "special" that they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars!
A2: So "special" that her father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!
Q: Why is Rosie O'Donnell competing with John Goodman?
A: To play Susan Boyle in the Lifetime original movie!