Q: If the health care reform bill is named after the late Ted Kennedy who should the defense bill be named after?
A: Rush Limbaugh because it contains a lot of fat!
Q: Who are the two African Americans that Rush Limbaugh knows "very well"?
A: Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben!
Q: Why does Rush Limbaugh want to buy the St Louis Rams?
A1: Because the St Louis Arch reminds him of McDonalds!
A2: Because Buffalo Wild Wings turned him down!
Q: How do you know that Rush Limbaugh is living the American Dream?
A: Because one day he's a great conservative radio talk show host and the next he's standing in line with other patients to get Darryl Strawberry's autograph.
Q: Why does Rush Limbaugh use the Viagra-brand Chapstik?
A: Because its the best way to keep a "stiff upper lip!"
Q: Why is Rush Limbaugh and his third wife getting a divorce?
A: Rush took 12 viagra pills at once and she almost died!
Q: Why was it easy for airport security to find Rush's illegal viagra stash?
A: Because he looked like a hardened criminal!
Q: What was the first victory by the St. Louis Rams during the 2009 season?
A: Denying Rush Limbaugh's bid for NFL ownership!
Q: Why is Rush Limbaugh now trying to change the name "Black Friday"?
A: Because there is already a "President's Day"!
Q: What seats do the Republicans hope to pick up in 2010?
A: The two seats Limbaugh has to purchase whenever he flys commercial airliners!
Q: Why can't Rush Limbaugh get his hands around health care reform?
A: Because his hands are always covered in cookie dough!
Q: Why does Rush Limbaugh hate Barack Obama's guts?
A: Because Obama beat Rush in a pie eating contest (don't ask me how)!
Q: How does Rush Limbaugh support the Humane's Society?
A: By eating stray cats!
Q: Why can't Rush Limbaugh die of a Heart Attack?
A: He has no heart!
Q: Why doesn't Rush Limbaugh think Michael J. Fox's parkinsons condition is serious?
A: Because you only shake like that when your pharmacist takes too long to fill an oxycontin prescription!