Nicolas Cage Jokes

Q: What's the title of Nicolas Cage's latest action thriller sequel?
A1: National Treasure 3: The Search For Write-Offs
A2: Leveraging Las Vegas
A3: Broke In 60 Seconds
A4: Lord of the Poor
A5: Season of the Once-Rich
A6: Knowing Less Owing More
A7: I Need Snake Eyes

Q: What does Nicolas Cage have to do in exchange for the IRS forgiving his tax debt?
A: Apologize for "Bangkok Dangerous", "Season of the Witch", & "Knowing"!

Q: What Do Nicolas Cage and a Ken doll have in common?
A: They're both blonde, plastic and brainless!

Q: What the difference between Nicolas Cage and a jug of water?
A: Water spills, Nicolas Cage takes pills

Q: Why did Nicolas Cage buy a BMW?
A: More head room.

Q: How dumb is Nicolas Cage?
A: So dumb he thought a quarterback was an income tax refund!

Why is Nicolas Cage a good actor?
Because he tries hard to be everybody but himself.

My Agent

After a difficult day on the set Nicolas Cage returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house.
Explaining who he was he asks "What happened?"
"Well," one of the officer's says, "It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground."
The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief, "My agent came to my house?"


One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news: "Nicolas Cage just died!"
The second agent says nothing, then starts nodding. "Good career move."

Star Cast

The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast.
"First of all," he tells him, "We've got Clooney in the lead."
The director is surprised, "You got George Clooney?"
"Well, no," the Producer responds, "we got Marvin Clooney, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford."
"You got Robert Redford?" the director asks.
"No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, " we've got Streisand and in a singing role."
"Barbara Streisand?" he asks.
"No, Elizabeth Streisand." The Producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Cage."
"You got Nicolas Cage?" the director asks.
"Yeah," the producer replies glumly, "we got Nicolas Cage."

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