Jersey Shore Jokes

Q: Why are New Jersey coastal homes falling in value again?
A: The cast of Jersey Shore returned from Italy!

Q: What's The Difference Between Jersey Girls & Trash?
A: The Trash Gets Taken Out More Often.

Q: Why did the Guido hit on the underage beach bunny?
A: He did it all for the Snooki!

Q: Why does Snooki want get into a ball and fall on New Years Eve in Time Square?
A: She's tired of balls trying to get inside her!

Q: Why did a recent OKCupid survey name Portland, Oregon as the nation's sluttiest city?
A: Jersey Shore was named the skankiest!

Q: Why did Amanda Knox get her conviction overturned?
A: After seeing the Jersey Shore they lowered their expectations!

Q: What happened after MTV debated filming Season 5 of the Jersey Shore in Italy?
A: Italy gave them the boot!

Q: Why doesn't Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino eat bananas?
A: He can't find the zipper!

Q: Why is Snooki like Ms. Pac-man!
A: Just a token and she's ready to swallow!

Q: What does J-Woww and my penis have in common?
A: They're both stuck up hot little bitches!

Q: Why is Angelina's nickname nickname "Shotgun" and not "Staten Island dump"?
A: Give her a cock and she'll Blow!

Q: What does Pauly Ds asshole and his mouth have in common?
A: They both produce the same shit!

Q: What's so interesting about J-Woww's new commemorative silver coin?
A: "Any way you flip it, you'll get head every time!"

Q: What's the difference between Manchester United and Snooki?
A: Man U is tight at the back.

Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino?
A: Santa Claus stops after 3 ho's!

Q: What is being exchanged by MTV as the Jersey Shore visits Italy?
A: Italy gives them wine and the MTV give them New Jersey oranges

Q: Why is President Obama mentioning the cast of "Jersey Shore" in reference to his energy policy?
A: By draining the castmates hair, the country won't need to import oil.

Jersey Shore Shower

J Woww and Snooki were having a shower together.
Snooki said to the J Woww "How come you dont have any hairs on your pussy"
J Woww replied, "Have you ever seen grass grow on a busy road?"

Snooki goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"Tell all of your sins, my daughter."
"Oh, Father, I met a guido last night at the bar and made hot, passionate love to him seven times," Snooki says.
The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, "Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it."
"Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?" Snooki replies.
"No," the priest says, "But it'll wipe that smile off your face!"

Mike Sorrentino from the "Jersey Shore" walks into a medical clinic and tells the doctor he has "The Situation"
Doctor: Nope it's Herpes!

"The plan is to contain the oil slick with fire-retardant beams, and then set fire to the oil that pools on the surface. They say if it works there in the Gulf, they're going to try it on the cast of Jersey Shore."
-Bill Maher

The girls of "Jersey Shore" went on a wine tour of Tuscany. There was an embarrassing moment when Snooki was mistaken for a grape.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Most people think "Jersey Shore" is just orange people binge drinking and exposing themselves � and for the most part, it is.
-Jimmy Kimmel

This year's "10 Most Fascinating People" show has Barbara Walters interviewing the cast of "Jersey Shore." So it's official: Walters is very easily fascinated.
-Conan O Brien

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