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David Hasselhoff Jokes


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David Hasselhoff Facts

David Hasselhoff once sang his way out of a glass cave breaking the glass with high notes.

David Hasselhoff got the role in Knight Rider because his balls looked best in tight jeans.

David Hasselhoff doesn't wear underwear.

David Hasselhoff doesn't wear a condom, because their is no protection from David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

David Hasselhoff is the real reason Pamela Anderson has Hepatitis.

The reason people tore down the Berlin wall was to get away from David Hasselhoff's singing.

David Hasselhoff once performed as a singing stripper. The witnesses are now impotent.

David Hasselhoff actually plays all the women in Baywatch.

When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

When David Hasselhoff goes to the gym he only beefs up his balls.

When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

David Hasselhoff can breathe under water if he's horny.

David Hasselhoff can't fight. Instead, he has evolved to the point that his "singing" is used to scare predators away.

When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Shit! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she slept with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead.

On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

David Hasselhoff ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

David Hasselhoff can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 A.M.

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