Bill O'Reilly Jokes

Q: Why is the $60 million dollars the woman suing Bill O'Reilly wants for unwanted phone sex a reasonable request?
A: Because if you do the math it works to $2.99 a minute!

Q: Why did Bill O'Reilly walk out on his bill at a restaurant?
A: Because they wouldn't give him his mutha fucking ice tea!

Q: Why is Bill O'Reilly claiming to be the victim in the phone sex allegations against him?
A: It's obviously a right-hand conspiracy!

Q: Why is it unlikely that Bill O'Reily put a vibrator in his ass while having unwanted phone sex with one of his female producers?
A: Because he is usually pulling stuff out of his ass!

Q: Why did a female producer at Fox News file a sexual harassment suit against Bill O'Reily?
A: Because he asked if her breasts were "fair and balanced".

Q: Why did the charges for Jamie Foxx's alleged stalker get dropped?
A: He said his name is Bill O'Reilly and he is a "Fox talker" not a "Foxx stalker"!

Q: How many Fox News journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "We just report the facts, we don't change them." (No Spin)!

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and choked it to sleep with his two hands.

Bill O'Reilly saw this happen, congratulated the man and told him he wanted him on his show for a story called, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told Bill O'Reilly that he wasn't from that town.

"Well, then," the Bill O'Reilly said, "the show segment will be called, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the Bill O'Reilly said in a huff, "the story will be called, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'."

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