Q: Why should the Boston Red Sox sign Barry Bonds to a contract?
A: Because their fans are already used to an oversized monster in left field!
Statement: Barry Bonds' wife has filed for legal separation.
Punchline: Soon even his marriage will have an asterisk attached to it.
Q: Why would it take Barry Bonds 2 weeks to get ready to play baseball if a team is willing to sign him?
A: One week to get back his timing, and another week to find a hat that fits!
Q: How did the guy who purchased Barry Bonds record breaking home run ball pay for it at auction?
A: With counterfeit twenties!
Q: What happened after Bud Seling told congress "We have the toughest drug testing in American sports."
A: Barry Bonds laughed so hard, human growth hormone shot out his nose!
Q: What do you know after seeing a ESPN survey showing 63 percent of baseball fans think Barry Bonds used steroids?
A: 37 percent of baseball fans are retarded!
Q: What did a juiced Barry Bonds do after hitting his 73rd home run in 2001.
A: He went home and beat his now ex-wife 74 times!
Q: What happened after Barry Bonds told the MLB Network that he has never used steroids?
A: His pants caught on fire!