American Idol Jokes

Q: How do you know your dating William Hung?
A1: He manages to tear your dress, trash your corsage and step on *both* your feet dancing, but that doggone goofy charm convinces you to give it up anyway.
A2: Despite his embarrassing performance in the back seat of his car, his earnest demeanor landed him a $25,000 porno deal.

Q: How do you know your on American Idol?
A: After getting your GED, you get more votes than our president for your rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" in a mohawk! (Sanjaya, 6th Season)

Q: Why shouldn't the world be surprised when Clay Aiken announced he was gay?
A: The world has been telling Clay Aiken he's gay for years!

Q: What would Simon Cowell say if you auditioned for American Idol?
A1: If you would be singing like this two thousand years ago, people would have stoned you. 
A2: If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning. 
A3: "My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't."
A4: "Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."
A5: "Utterly horrendous. I'm being serious. Honestly, it was as bad as anything we see at the beginning of 'American Idol' where all the terrible singers come on."
A6: "Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator."

Q: What does President Bush say when congratulating the American Idol winner by phone?
A: "I do everything I want, because of tremendous distractions like you."

S1: Two Bangladeshi fishermen raised controversy after they beat a rare dolphin to death. They claimed they did it in shock because they had never seen something like it before.
S2: Using the same excuse, Clay Aiken then punched a vagina.

Q: Why is Ryan Seacreast happier than he's ever been?
A: A birth control pill, eliminating the need for periods was released!

Q: What lesson did Paula Abdul learn from breaking her nose after stepping on her dog?
A: Don't do coke off your dog!

Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink Whiskey?
A: Because it makes him mean.

Q: Why did Ryan Seacrest sue a man, who legally won the right to take his wife's last name?
A: For unfairly out-gaying him!

Q: Why didn't the police arrest Clay Aiken for fighting a girl in Tulsa, Oklahoma?
A: Catfights aren't against the law in Tulsa!

I could win American Idol, if they just let me bring my shower on stage.

Joke Generators: