Redneck Blonde Jokes

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde redneck passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What does a redneck blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A: Start your Engines!

Q: What do you do when a blonde redneck throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q: Why do redneck blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why do blonde rednecks drive GMC trucks?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why can't blonde rednecks dial 911?
A: They can't find the '11' on the telephone

Two blonde rednecks were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.

You Might Be A Blonde Redneck...

hat billboard that says, "SAY NO TO CRACK" reminds you to pull up your jeans.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

Two Blonde Rednecks
Two blonde redneck guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.
"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

Rowing Boats
One day a blonde was driving down the highway when she saw a blonde redneck on the side of the road trying to row in a boat. The blonde pulled over and said "You know it's people like you that give us blondes a bad name, if I knew how to swim I'd come out there and kick your ass".

Redneck Trucker
A long-haired blonde teen was hitchhiking through the deep South. He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence, the teen finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?"

"Ask you what?" replied the trucker.

"If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth.

"Don't matter," replied the trucker. "I'm gonna screw ya' anyway."

A blonde redneck goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."
The librarian replies, "This is a library."

So the blonde redneck lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."


A blonde redneck went to Sears and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blonde rednecks."

The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blonde rednecks."

The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blonde rednecks."

She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."

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