Hangover Jokes
Do you know the fun thing about being sober?
Nothing.
What do you call the comedy about two blondes and a hangover?
"Dude, Where's my bra"
What do you call a wine induced hangover?
A grape depression.
What's the only way an Irishman will get the brown bottle flu?
A dirty glass.
What's the best way to avoid a hangover?
Stay Drunk!
What's the difference between Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday?
Mardi Gras is an all night party in New Orleans, Fat Tuesday is who you wake up with hungover the next morning.
Did you hear about the Irishman who woke up with dawn damage?
He got a dirty glass.
Our hangovers will last a day, but the memories we make tonight will last a lifetime.
I've been told I have A.D.H.D (Alcohol Drinking and Hangover Disorder)
A hangover is a wrath of grapes.
Don't know if I avoided a hangover or if I'm still drunk.
I'm not hungover someone just slipped me a bad ice cube.
I love alcohol, but I hate hangovers. And my hatred of hangovers wins by a landslide every time.
Drunk Mexican
I was bartending in Vegas and this drunk mexican asks me for a shot of tequila and a beer.
He was hurting so bad with a hangover..he then asks me for another.
I said "You got money?
He told me no, but he is hurting so bad that he will do anything for another round....
I looked at him and told him..if you could use these three colors in a sentence, I'll buy you a round...Green Pink and Yellow.
The drunk mexican looks at me, thinks for a second, and tells me.."I got it senor, I got it...The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and I said Yellow?"
Drunk Driving
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper.
Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed.
He was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers. "Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked?
He admitted that he was. "Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?"
Again, the man admitted that was he. "And what did you do then," the troopers asked."
The man replied that he was a little hungover but he remembered driving his car home and going to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the troopers inquired.
The man answered that it was in the garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers.
The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.