Woolly Mammoth Jokes
Q: Why did Manny the Mammoth cross the road?
A: Because they didn't have chickens in the Ice Age.
Q: What did the Mastodon say to a naked man?
A: Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?
Q: What happened to the Mammoth that swallowed the Guiding Orb?
A: It roared with de-light!
Q: Why did the Woolly Mammoth swallow the Guiding Orb?
A: It wanted some light refreshment.
Q: What is an Mastodons favorite sport?
A: Squash.
Q: What time is it when a Great Woolly Mammoth sits on your igloo?
A: Time to build another igloo.
Q: What is huge, shaggy, has 16 feet and sounds terrible.
A: A Mammoth barbershop quartet.
Q: What's huge and shaggy with tusks and horns?
A: The Woolly Mammoth Marching Band!
Q: What would you give to a Mammoth that is having an anxiety attack?
A: Trunkquilizers!
Q: What is shaggy, has a wand, huge wings, flies at night, and gives money to Woolly Mammoths?
A: The tusk fairy!
Q: What do you call a Squallhoot under a Great Woolly Mammoth?
A: Flat!
Q: How much does Manny the Mammoth weigh?
A: Enough to break the ice.....age.
Q: Why do Mammoths sometimes walk on two feet?
A: To give Squallhoots a chance.
Q: What kind of vehicle is big, has shaggy upholstery and a trunk that won't open?
A: A Mammoth-mobile.
Q: What weighs 4 tons and has 16 wheels?
A: A Mastodon on roller skates!
Q: Why do Mastodons have trunks?
A: Because they'd look pretty silly with glove compartments.
Q: What's another reason Mammoths have trunks?
A: Because they'd also look silly carrying suitcases!
Q: What do Mastodons wear when they go swimming?
A: Their trunks.
Q: Why did the Wolly Mammoth get a ticket?
A: He ran through the stomp sign.
Q: Why couldn't the two Great Woolly Mammoths go swimming?
A: Because between the two of them - there was just one pair of trunks!
Q: Why were the Mammoths thrown out of the swimming pool?
A: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
Q: What has four legs and a trunk?
A: Wrong! Not a Woolly Mammoth! Two Throps going on a holiday!
Q: What do you do when a Great Woolly Mammoth sneezes?
A: Dive for the snow and DIG IN!
Q: Why were the mastodons thrown out of the swimming pool?
A: Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!
Q: What has 5 legs, 3 ears, 2 trunks and 3 tusks?
A: A Woolly Mammoth with spare parts.
Q: How do you know when a Mammoth is under your bed?
A: Your nose gets cold because it's squished against the top of your igloo.
Q: How do you run over a Mammoth?
A: Climb up its tail, run to its head, and slide down its trunk.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Woolly Mammoth and a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over the ice!
Q: What do mammoths and trees have in common?
A: They both have big trunks!
Q: What's the difference between a cookie and a Mammoth?
A: Try dunking a Mammoth in your milk - THEN you'll know!
Q: What's the difference between an injured Mammoth and bad weather?
A: One roars with pain and the other pours with rain!
Q: How do you write a report on a Great Woolly Mammoth?
A: First, you get a really big ladder...
Q: What do you get when you cross a potato with a mastodon?
A: Mashed potatoes!
Q: Why do Mammoths wear red toe polish?
A: Sorry, we don't tell Polish jokes on this web site.
Q: What do you call an Mammoth that flies?
A: A jumbo jet!
Q: What did the Mammoth say when the Squallhoot grabbed its tail?
A: "That's the end of me!"
Q: How do you know when there is an mastodon under your bed?
A: When your nose touches the ceiling!
Q: What do you get when you cross a jaguar with a Woolly Mammoth?
A: A fancy car with shaggy upholstery and a big trunk!
Q: What do you call an mastodon in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
Q: What's got a trunk, ivory, and four legs?
A: An old piano in a tree! (Fooled ya! You were gonna say "a Great Woolly Mammoth", weren't you?)