Meerkat Jokes
Q: What does a lion call a meerkat?
A: Fast Food.
Q: Did you hear about the kitten who lived with a meerkat clan?
A: They didn't realize she was a mere cat.
Raise your hand if your more invested in Meerkat Manor family dynamics than your own.
Q: How did Timon stop Pumbaa from charging him?
A: He took away his credit cards.
Two men raised Simba and he turned out just fine.
Q: What do you call an Meerkat with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Q: What did the grape say when the Meerkat stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Q: Why did the Meerkat cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q: When does a Meerkat go "roarrrr"?
A: When it is learning a new language!
Q: What's more amazing than a talking Meerkat?
A: A spelling bee!
The Wife
A guy brings a Meerkat home , tells his wife it's a pet.
She asks , "Where are you going to keep it?"
He repies , "In the bedroom."
"But what about that horrible nasty smell?' , she asks.
"I got used to you , I'm sure he will too!"
Religious Cowboy
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah.
Three weeks later, a Meerkat walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the Meerkates mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the Meerkat. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Night of Drinking
A man and his pet Meerkat walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my Meerkat."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the Meerkat falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a Meerkat."
Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Meerkat sitting next to him.
"Are you a Meerkat?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The Meerkat replied, "Well, I liked the book."