Eagle Jokes


Q: What do you call a sick eagle?
A: Ill-eagle!

Q: Why don't eagles like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!

Q: Republican John Ashcroft sang "Let the Eagle Soar" what was the eagles response?
A: Leave the eagles out of it

Q. Did you hear Clinton is declaring a new National Bird?
A. The Spread Eagle

Q: What does the eagle say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?
A: 'Let us prey.'

Q: How does a eagle greet the its prey in the water ?
A: 'Pleased to eat you.' !


Q: Did you hear about the bird who could see trouble coming from a mile way?
A: It had an eagle eye.


Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a eagle walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the eagle's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the eagle. "Your name is written inside the cover."


Night of Drinking
A man and his pet eagle walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my eagle."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the eagle falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a eagle."

Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a eagle sitting next to him.
"Are you a eagle?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The eagle replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a eagle in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that eagle?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the eagle again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that eagle to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

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