Bat Jokes


Q: What's a bats favorite desert?
A: I-Scream!

Q: How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
A: Every night he turns into a bat.

Q: How do you write a book about Bats?
A: With a ghostwriter.

Q: Did you hear about the two bats meeting?
A: It was love at first bite!

Q: What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
A: blood-thirsty hacker baby

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.

Q: What did the pitcher tell the bat?
A: Batter-up.

Q: Where do bats keep their money?
A: The blood bank!!!

Q: How do bats tell their future?
A: They read their horrorscope.

Q: What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Q: What did the grape say when the bat squished on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: What is the first thing that bats learn at school?
A: The alphabat.

Q: When does a bat go "mooooo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: Who were the original transformers?
A: Vampire bats!

Q: What's more amazing than a talking bat?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What did the bat say to the diabetic?
A: Nice knawing you!

Q: What do you call a bat with ebola?
A: African batman.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Bat!
Bat who?
Bat you'll never guess!

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah.
Three weeks later, a Bat walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the Bates mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the Bat. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet Bat walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my Bat."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the Bat falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a Bat."

Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Bat sitting next to him.
"Are you a Bat?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The Bat replied, "Well, I liked the book."

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