Antelope Jokes

Q: What does a lion call an antelope?
A: Fast Food.

Q: Why couldn't the wildebeests get married?
A: Because they cantelope. (cant elope)

Q: What do you call an antelope with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Q: What did the grape say when the antelope stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: Why did the antelope cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: When does a antelope go "roarrrr"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: What's more amazing than a talking antelope?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What did they antelope say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!

The Wife
A guy brings a Antelope home , tells his wife it's a pet.
She asks , "Where are you going to keep it?"
He repies , "In the bedroom."
"But what about that horrible nasty smell?' , she asks.
"I got used to you , I'm sure he will too!"

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah.
Three weeks later, a Antelope walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the Antelopees mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the Antelope. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet Antelope walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my Antelope."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the Antelope falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a Antelope."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Antelope sitting next to him.
"Are you a Antelope?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The Antelope replied, "Well, I liked the book."

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